Mr. Good Enough

I work from home, and when you work from home (or at least when I work from home) I find myself watching a lot of crap in the day. Mr. Phil has become one of those shows. And today's show is very interesting. It's talking about the modern woman. The definition of the modern woman is the woman who is making her own money, has an education, and can be the bacon bringer in the relationship. Before the break, Dr. Phil asked, 'should women stop searching for Mr. Right, and settle for Mr. Good enough'?

Fuck no.

I am this modern woman he speaks of. I have worked very hard for my career, and I make a good living (I have big bills as well but that's another story for another time). I've never regretted the time I've put towards my career. But I have found that my having brains and speaking my mind is a detriment to dating. At least in the nation's capital (which, btw, I find incredibly ironic). When men approach me (if they have the balls to do so), they come at me with some bullshit that has worked on other women and can't figure out why it doesn't work with me. And instead of sticking around to figure out why, they choose to find the one who is less work (i.e. will give it up without making them work for it). I'm not intimidating, let's get that out of the way right now. I don't have an overbearing presence, I am not a know-it-all, and have never been a bully. But what I do have is an incredible radar for bullshit and very low tolerance for it. And I'm sorry, I'm not settling.

Why can't I find a man who appreciates a strong woman who still knows how to be feminine? One woman on the show said, only the weak are intimidated, me and my husband, blah, blah. Operative word here? Husband. I'm not sure if there ARE any men who aren't intimidated by women like me. And yeah, education is important to me, and you making a living for yourself is important because A) im not paying your way and B) I don't want to deal with your ego bullshit if you are put off by the fact that my pay is more than you. But there are so many things that are attractive to me, and I am almost always willing to give a guy a chance if he asks for one. I have a type I gravitate to, but I've dated men who haven't fit into that category because they have other traits that bump their attractive factor up.

I know so many incredible women who are smart, funny, beautiful, ambitious and feminine- myself included. And yet, many are single and have dealt with their fair share of bullshit- myself included. Men need to step up and be a man and believe me, we'll be ok with being the woman.

D Day

I am of course referring to V Day- valentines. I say D day because that's my debbie downer day. For as long as I can remember (and I can assure you, in this case, it dates all the way back to elementary), I've hated Valentine's day. Seriously. Even in school when they had forced candy grams and parties and all the rest of that shit I hated it. When I got older and could determine my schedule I simply didn't go out because I didn't want to see people kissing, holding hands and all that other shit. Bah humbug.

Why you ask? Honestly I can't say. The obvious fact that I don't have a valentine of my own probably has something to do with it, and I would be a lying turd if I didn't admit that. But it goes deeper. The over-commercialization of the holiday grosses me out. The fact that its just about couples and not about family or friends or even loving yourself pisses me off. And the fact that men get one day in which they are supposed to act civilized and then the other 364 they can act like morons is inexcusable.

Do men still remember what its like to create romance? Do they even think its necessary? I meet so many men around here who have obviously used their bullshit on other chicks and they were dumb enough to take it. Dumb enough to accept a man taking her to a diner for a date, dumb enough to accept going dutch on a date, need I go on? So they don't know how to make an effort. And furthermore most won't because there are chicks who will give it up anyway. So why work? Why create romance?

Every kiss does NOT begin way Kay, it begins with a little effort, a lot of romance and 365 days of awesomeness.