Update!

Oh its too precious. So precious I have to post it:

subject: IM NOT GOING TO REASON YOU FOR YOUR NUMBER!!!!!

I'M NOT YOUR PAST I'M YOUR PRESENT!!!!!!! AND JUST BECAUSE YOU GAVE OUT YOUR NUMBER TO THE WRONG PEOPLE THAT DON'T MEAN THAT IT APPLIES TO ME..THIS IS WHERE PEOPLE MISSES UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE!!!

You know, I think he's angry. Why did you kirk out like that? Hence the reason why I'm not giving you my number. You're a fucking crackpot.

What's in a number?

Sooo maybe its just me, but I am very protective of my phone number. There is so little of our lives that is private these days, facebook is trying to sell our souls to the highest bidder, google reveals every rant and rave, petition and review I've done (and am damn proud of too), where there's a will, there's a way. So why do men freely give out their numbers and get offensive when you don't want to give them yours? It's my fucking number dammit!

I've prematurely given out my number before to douche bags that didn't deserve it. There was the buggaboo who spent 20 minutes telling me how he likes feminine women, blah blah. I tuned it out when I quickly realized we weren't a match. In fact, I never returned a single phone call, though he called me 6 times in a 2 day period. We had nothing in common other than the fact that I have a vagina and he would like to get re-introduced to one. I finally had to send the 'I've got a lot going on in my life, good luck to you email' and he got the hint. Then there was the crazy island boy who lied about his age, asked me if I thought I was pretty enough to be around and then kept fucking calling. Despite his 8 calls in 36 hours I was resistant to his troll jedi powers. Another blast from my past who asked me for my number every time (and my response is the same) doesn't seem to get it. And now there is coach procreator (see previous blog). He sends me one email- one- and asks me for my number. With buggaboo still fresh on my mind I say thanks, but I'm not ready to give up the digits just yet. He replies with a smart ass remark and I kindly laid into him. I suspect he won't like it but I don't give a two shits. How do I know you're not nuts? How do you know I'm not nuts?? And one of the good things about dating online is the ability to see how people communicate. If you can't send an email with a more than a few words, moving on. If you can't spell, not interested. And if you wanted to trade phone numbers with someone without prior knowledge why not just stick to craigslist? Even when people would meet in public (remember that?) you usually had a quick conversation before passing on the sacred 7 to joe public.

Call me a prude, but the digits are off limits!

The basketball team

That's how many kids he has. Enough to have his own basketball team. Yes, 5. Damn. You know back in the day people used to make lots of babies because a) they weren't sure if all were going to survive and b) to have enough kids to help around the farm. But what's the 21st century man doing making 5 babies? That is, if he's not a mormon (confirmed, he's not).

Why so many? Mind you, they are with the same woman to which he is divorcing. But 5? I can't wrap my head around it. I don't know much about him, so we may not even get to the I want to see you in public stage, but I'm not sure if I want to give him the opportunity. I want my own family, and one more could officially make us the black Brady Bunch. As a woman in my 30's, its not uncommon for me to run into a man with child. I used to reject those guys, but reality says that most men my age may have planted a seed or two. And if they are good fathers, that's major bonus points. But...5? Is it me, or should I give it a chance?

Pros:

• He's cute
• The kids are from one mother
• He's cute

Cons:

• There are 5 of them
• He may not have an interest in making another (although he's shown he's highly capable) in the future, should we become a permanent item
• A recent divorcee, the littlest tot could be a baby. Too close in proximity to split
• Did I mention, there are 5?

What's a girl to do?

Troll #1- Are you a Lesbian?

Well he wasn't number one, there are SO many that deserve that title. But he happened to be the catalyst for starting this blog so I figure he deserves some sort of acknowledgment. Congratulations asshole!

So I'm chatting online with a boy that I met on an online dating site. He says to me, 'why are you single'? Ok just to digress for a minute, why do men ask that question? I'm sure women might also ask, but since I don't date women I can't validate. But seriously, what is with that question? How is someone supposed to answer that? I'm single because guys who ask that are stupid and therefore get put in the 'not interested' category. Ugh. At any rate, so I answered with my standard answer (I haven't met the right guy yet) and proceeded to tell him about my experience with online dating, that a lot of people who are on dating sites pretend to be something they are not because the Internet allows for virtually unlimited anonymity and they can say they are one thing and be another. His response? 'Are you a lesbian'? HUH? I must have missed something because for the life of me I can't understand why he would ask me such a ridiculous question. I love my lesbian sisters, but would I be on a dating site where my profile says, 'looking for men', I am talking to a man, and my sexual preference says 'men' (they don't offer an 'often' option so I chose plan b)? My reply? 'I am now' and I closed the chat window and put him in the 'block loser category'.