My Detachable Penis

Holy hiatus batman! Sorry for the down time, I've been busy busy busy. So I thought I would come back with a bang- or should I say... no, bang is a good enough word.

So I had a date last week. On paper he looked decent, but isn't that the way it always is. Turns out we're not a match (and frankly he's not worth the entry). But after some frustrating conversations about where to meet for our first date (I wanted him to make a decision, and he was incapable), I was trying to psyche myself up for this date. So I called my girlfriend to ask her what I should do. And she gave me some good advice- to put my penis away and let his take over. So much easier said than done.

By nature, I am a leader. In my personal and professional life it's what I do. But according to the law of the land, men are supposed to be the leaders. I have a fundamental problem with this because I believe it to be sexist at a minimum, but at the same time, I need a man to do what he is programmed to do- lead. That doesn't mean I'm going to tee hee, and follow whatever a man says, but it does mean that I want a man to have a plan, to take initiative. And men these days have seemed to lost the inability to lead.

Funny, because they are in positions of power, they make more than we do, blah blah, and yet I have more dick than the men I date. How is that possible? When did men become so wishy washy? Don't they know that they are stifling their genetic trait? I don't want to neuter a man, but when they don't demonstrate leadership or backbone of any kind my penis naturally comes out and wants to lead. I'll admit it- I don't know when to put Charles (that's a good name for a penis, don't you think?) away. He cannot stay put when there is no penis in the room.

I'm proud to be a leader. I would have drown in life by now if I didn't have the skills to take my life to the next level. But frankly, Charles wants a break. Guys, get it together. Women weren't meant to carry penis's around, they are strictly for the nightstand. If you don't have one there's plenty of places you can buy one. But stay away from the Chevy dealership, they make nothing but pricks, and we don't want that either.