I recently reached out to a matchmaker. Its a very old fashioned concept I know, but I'm moving closer to joining the order so I thought I would look into it. As it turns out, I'm a leper.
As she's interviewing me she says, 'now I'm going to have to give you some tough love here (yes, it turns out this matchmaker is the same one from VH1's tv show), your 35 and your single. You're not doing something right'. It MUST be me right? It surely couldn't be that men are shallow, immature, emotionally unavailable, directionless, cheating trolls could it? Of course not, when it doubt blame the woman. I can't speak for women everywhere, but hearing her say that reminded me of how women are never good enough. According to the rules of society, if we are not blonde, blue-eyed, and a size 4, we're ugly. If we're not in the home making babies, making casseroles and cleaning dishes, we're man hating lesbians. And if we're single, old and un-married there is something wrong with us. What a fucked up way to live.
Don't get me wrong, I think something is out of place. And as you can see from the many entrees of this blog, I have a knack for picking the wrong men. But I didn't say, 'hey, this guy looks like a prick, I think I'll give him my number!'. I'm finding men with similar interests- or so they say- and taking a chance, only to be disappointed. It was funny for a while but now its getting to be fucking irritating.
I know there are things I could do better. I could get out more, I could flirt more, I could be less guarded and more open. Some would probably say I could shed a few pounds because fat girls have less options. But I know that I'm not the problem. The problem is that men need to grow up. They want to be Peter Pan forever. And frankly, I won't date a man in green tights.
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