To Concede or not to Concede, that is my question.

A friend told me once that I give up too quickly in relationships, that the first sign of trouble and I am ready to bail. I didn't agree with her at the time, because as you may notice in some of these entries, I've stayed WAY longer than I should have. But it was this voice I was hearing when I was talking to my new interest last night.

We haven't met yet. We've talked for the past couple of weeks and I like him. He's smart, driven, values family, articulate, handsome, etc. I appreciate all of his qualities, and I am looking forward to knowing more about him. Yesterday he revealed to me that he was just accepted into an MBA program starting in Jan 2010. Great news! But knowing how much school is a priority for him, not to mention work, his children, etc etc, I felt like I might be in the way of him achieving his goals. So I said, 'if this isn't the best time for you to bring someone new into your life I understand'. Apparently that was a no no.

So began a string of texts about what kind of man I want, women say one thing, but want another, blah blah. I didn't read them because I had a friend over and I was entertaining. After she left I called. He went on for a good 20 minutes about how people say this to him all the time, he doesn't understand yadda yadda yadda. I explained to him that I was trying to think of him and not of me (which is true) and that, not knowing that he's heard that 1000 times before I didn't realize what a nerve I touched. Now, whether or not you think what I said was shit, I think we can agree that it was a simple statement that didn't warrant 20 min of discussion. And I felt myself getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter. Boiling on the inside! I don't appreciate lectures. From anyone. And the normal me wanted to tell him to buzz off with his attitude. But I stopped. I stopped not only because I was hearing my friend's voice in the back of my mind, but because I decided not to let him make this a big deal and risk losing someone that may be a good fit. So, I apologized for something that I wasn't sure I did. Not something I would normally do, especially since by that point I was so very pissed. And talking through it, I realized that my statement to him really stirred something, some of which he revealed, some of which is part I-am-man-I-can-do-anything-and-how-would-you-suggest-otherwise. And for men and their egos, recognizing that is part of the dance that we do.

I think he realized that he had taken that out of context as well and we came out on the other end both waving our flags and still very much interested in each other. I don't like losing, and don't plan on doing it again (dammit!) but in this case, I think I will very much be a winner.