It's new years eve. You know what that means: resolutions, over-eating, over-drinking, hugging, celebrating and of course, that midnight kiss. Of course, I've yet to be dating someone on the turn of a new year, so inevitably I've missed that traditional kiss. Is that the curse on my love life, only to be broken by the kiss of someone you love?
2009 has sucked, big time. Here's a recap: lack of communication with my mother which lasted many months, I quit my job, only to take a another that I regretted taking two days after I started. The one man who I cared about (his blog is coming, its a two-parter for sure, not to be missed.) made a fool of me for what I hoped was the last time and I said goodbye, another man who swore he cared broke my heart, lousy (and infrequent) sex, new wrinkles, lost friendships, I could go on... needless to say I won't be sorry to say goodbye to 2009.
Now I hate to have charlie brown syndrome, but I can't seem to understand why I keep getting the shit kicked out me. I take absolute responsibility for just about everything that has gone wrong this year (and even the broken hearts I could take responsibility for to an extent). But I'm hoping this year the decisions I make will be the right ones- a few of them at least. I missed last year's kiss, and the year before that, and the year before that. Is there a pattern here?
I have a lot to be grateful for. In spite of my old lady foot acting up on occasion I have my health. I need to be better about it and that's a resolution I intend to keep. I made one smart move this year and that was quit a job that made me miserable. I haven't slept better in weeks than I have after that so I know that was a good thing. I have friends (although they seem to be fewer every year) who I can count on and whom I adore. I have my family which is far from perfect but they are the only one's I've got.
I read this morning on my horoscope that 2010 looks good. Ha! I dare you to defy the stars 2010! Perhaps there's a midnight kiss in my future to break the omen afterall? Only time (the clock stricking midnight to be precise) will tell.
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You know what? Thinking back to all the relationships I've been in or boys I've been dating around the NYE time, I've only had ONE kiss as the new year began: My FIRST 'serious' bf (i was 23!), and although I wasn't physically attracted to him at all, we were the best of friends (and still are great friends!) and just thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed each others' company...all day, everyday. I was living at home and he only had a rented room - so we ended up at his office on NYE...and as the evening went on, it started snowing! and we kissed on NYE watching the snow fall onto a quiet NYC street. Now...what do u think it means that the only NYE kiss I've had was w/ a guy who I could not muster any lust for, but a relationship based on deep friendship?? Are tender kisses better than passionate kisses? Passion is important, right?? I've got passion in spades...but still haven't managed to get me a NYE kiss w/ this one...4 NYEs and counting!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Me either, I've been single each time that fateful days rolls around. I don't know if its bad luck for everyone, but its been my jinx.
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