Next stop? Desparation

Working from home I find myself watching a lot of crap on t.v. Today I found myself watching Dr. Phil. And today Dr. Phil is tackling the me's of the world- 35 and over looking for love, marriage and happiness. I feel sort of special that I am topic-worthy. The first guest is 48 and marrying a man who is abusive, has attachment disorder and drinks a lot. WTF? Dr. Phil asked her how she got to this point. And she said 'I spent most of my life focusing on my career and I turned around one day and I was over 35'. Damn if that didn't hit me with a ton of bricks.

You see, I just turned 35. And I, like this woman on Dr. Phil's couch, focused much of my life on my career. I never thought growing up about marriage. I wasn't one of those girls who dreamed of the white gown, the flower girls and all of that. And kids? Please. In high school I was opposed and I kept up that opposition up until recently. But then somewhere along the way, everything changed. I turned around and all my single girlfriends were no longer single. And there I was, single, alone and stagnant while the world kept moving ahead. Shit.

Am I going to pay in love because I focused on my career? Am I going to have to settle because at my age according to Dr. Phil 'I have a better chance of being struck by lightning than getting married after 35'? As it is my bullshit meter has runneth over multiple times with my trying to be more open and less irritated with men who under normal circumstances I might not have put up with. But lets face it, the clock is ticking. And now that I have come to the conclusion that I want to have a family and settle down, am I doomed to just... settle? This woman is so angry, defensive and frankly, clueless. Sisters are doing it for themselves these days, but apparently there is a trade off. When I look at my future and examine my past, it doesn't look promising...