Such a Pretty Face

There are lots of words for women like me: full-figured, big & beautiful, zaftig, big boned, etc. I prefer fabulous, but for some reason that isn't an option when editing your online profile. But yes, in addition to being fabulous I am a plus sized girl (there's another one!). Its an interesting experience, dating as a plus size girl. I mean, lets face it, lap band commercials tell us we shouldn't even be leaving the house! This just in: we're not sitting around stuffing our faces full of bon bons in our house coats. We're just like everyone else, with a little more to love. But I digress. When men (and even women) give me a compliment, I always here the same thing when I get a compliment: 'you have such a pretty face'. I guess I can assume that the rest of me is hideous. I guess this means I should be shopping for a new bell tower to reside.

What I find so interesting about this comment- not that I don't appreciate it- is that there is so much more to me and MANY women than a pretty face. Women are incredible: we are homemakers, CEO's, parents, sisters, daughters. We are sensual, beautiful, sexy, smart- need I go on? But when people look at those of us who are not 'perfect' we seem to be overlooked.

A recent article in Essence by bishop T.D. Jakes pointed out this very same thing. He says, 'We are bombarded with contradictory messages about what we should look like. Who among us doesn't recall it being said that someone was too skinny, too fat, too black, too light, too thick-lipped, too thin-nosed, too kinky headed, too something or other?'. Men & women miss out on a lot when we look only at the superficial rather than the person as a whole. If I lost 20lbs, died my hair blonde, wore contacts, short skirts etc I would still be the same person I am now. Only it wouldn't be me. It would be the me you tell me I should be. The me who society says I should be. Bishop Jakes ends his article with a a beautiful line. 'Step onto the grand stage of your own life. See how beautiful you are'. Amen. Don't be defined by what someone else considers beautiful. I have learned that those who cannot appreciate what I look like cannot appreciate me.